My Pagan Valentine
Dr Raven Dolick M.s.D.
Feb 14, 2016
all rights reserved
2016 RavenStar Enchantments
Many of us have mixed feelings about Valentine's Day. You can't argue with a holiday that is based around the premise of love, but forcing affection on a deadline seems to counter the universe's plan.
Do you agree?
If you really want to make the most of this Feb. 14, look to the planets ... because this Valentine's Day is going to be intense!
With the Moon making a harsh square to the cosmic lovers Venus and Mars -- the planets of love and sex -- there's sure to be romantic conflict today unless you take extra precaution to avoid it!
You'll need to be especially mindful to not let intense feelings consume you, and face them head on.
How?
It's easier than it sounds...
Listen to your deep inner truth today.
Not your emotional attachments to the calendar date.
Valentine's Day in Paganism
Valentine's Day is rooted in the Roman festival of Lupercalia, which included a lottery to pair up single men and women.
Lupercalia's Love Lottery:
February is a great time of year to be in the greeting-card or chocolate-heart industry. This month has long been associated with love and romance, going back to the days of early Rome. Back then, February was the month in which people celebrated Lupercalia, a festival honoring the birth of Romulus and Remus, the twin founders of the city. As Lupercalia evolved and time went on, it morphed into a festival honoring fertility and the coming of spring.
For part of the celebration, young women would place their names in an urn. Eligible men would draw a name and the couple would pair of for the rest of the festival -- sometimes even longer. As Christianity progressed into Rome, the practice was decried as Pagan and immoral, and done away with by Pope Gelasius around 500 C.E. Although recently there's been some scholarly debate about the existence of the Lupercalia lottery, it's still a legend that brings to mind ancient matchmaking rituals -- perfect for this time of year!
A More Spiritual Celebration:
Around the same time that the love lottery was being eliminated, Gelasius had a brilliant idea. Why not replace the lottery with something a bit more spiritual? He changed the love lottery to a lottery of the Saints -- instead of pulling a pretty girl's name from the urn, young men pulled the name of a saint. The challenge for these bachelors was to try to be more saint-like in the coming year, studying and learning about the messages of their individual saint.
Who Was Valentine, Anyway?:
While he was trying to convince Rome's young nobleman to be more saintly, Pope Gelasis also declared St. Valentine (more on him in just a bit) the patron saint of lovers, and his day was to be held every year on February 14. There is some question about who St. Valentine actually was -- he may have been a priest during the reign of the Emperor Claudius.
The legend is that the young priest, Valentine, disobeyed Claudius by performing wedding ceremonies for young men, when the Emperor preferred to see them roped into military service rather than marriage. While imprisoned, Valentine fell in love with a young girl who visited him, perhaps the daughter of the jailer. Before he was executed, he allegedly sent her a letter, signed, From your Valentine. No one knows if this story is true, but it certainly makes St. Valentine a romantic and tragic hero.
The Christian church had a hard time maintaining some of these traditions, and for a while St. Valentine's Day disappeared off the radar. In fact, during medieval times the lover's lottery regained popularity -- chivalrous young men paired off with ladies, and wore the names of their lover on their sleeves for a year.
Modern Valentine's Day
Around the end of the 18th century, Valentine's Day cards began to appear. Small pamphlets were published, with sentimental poems that young men could copy and send to the object of their affections. Eventually, printing houses learned there was a profit to be made in pre-made cards, complete with romantic pictures and love-themed verse. The first American Valentine cards were created by Esther Howland in the 1870s, according to Victorian Treasury. Other than Christmas, more cards are exchanged at Valentine's Day than any other time of the year.
Cupid’s Not So Stupid History
In ancient Rome, Cupid was the incarnation of Eros, the god of love. As Eros, he was dark and full of lust and desire. Eventually, though, he evolved into the image we have today of a chubby cherub, flitting about zapping people with his arrows. In particular, he enjoyed matching people up with odd partners, and this eventually ended up being his own undoing.
Cupid, in his aspect as Eros, fell in love with a maiden named Psyche. Originally, Cupid was sent to destroy Psyche by his mother, Venus (the Roman version of Aphrodite), who was jealous of the mortal woman's beauty. Once he laid eyes on her, though, Cupid was completely smitten. Head over heels in love,
Cupid arranged for Psyche to come live with him. However, he did this in disguise, so although she returned his love, she never actually saw what he looked like. Her sisters were so jealous of her happiness that they taunted her, saying that her new lover must be hideous indeed to hide his true appearance from her.
One night, Psyche's sisters convinced her to follow Cupid as he left her. He awoke and saw her standing there with a knife, and told her he must leave her, for "love cannot dwell where there is no trust." Realizing what a fool she was, Psyche went to Venus for her help. Venus, naturally, thought this was hilarious, and set about making Psyche perform a number of seemingly impossible tasks. In each case, Psyche was assisted by a god, and so she performed all the jobs assigned to her by Venus. Eventually, Psyche and Cupid were reunited, and allowed to marry.
Today, Cupid is seen on Valentine's Day cards and decorations, and is invoked as a god of pure love and innocence -- a far cry from his original form.
Numerology and Valentine’s Day
Feb. 14 is a holiday both anticipated and dreaded by most of the western world. While some see it as a celebration of love, others criticize it as a fake holiday invented by candy and greeting card companies. But what is the actual impact of the holiday? We look to the Numerology behind the term "Valentine's Day" itself -- and some of its popular cohorts -- to get to the bottom of this lovey, if not mysterious, holiday.
Valentine's Day
With a Dominant Impression number of 7, the overall reputation "Valentine's Day" sends into the universe is one of significance. You can't escape it, in other words, even if you promise to spend the day locked in your office or at home with a collection of war documentaries.
But the number 7 holds with it a quest for knowledge and truth. Isn't Valentine's Day a day of reckoning for so many couples, a time when they sit down for a romantic date and truly reflect on where they are as a unit? In its most negative sense, this quality could mean one or both partners waiting anxiously for proof of love. A more optimistic view of Valentine's Day's 7 is that it inspires us to look beyond the surface of our relationships -- either as they exist, or as we want them to be.
Knowing that 7 is associated with Valentine's Day, you can enjoy depth and spirituality in this romantic holiday. But beware of arrogance or selfishness that can also be associated with a 7 -- on this day, make sure to show appreciation to your partner instead of waiting around to be showered with gifts!
Saint Valentine
Just who was Saint Valentine, anyway? This mysterious figure may, in fact, have been many saints of the same name, and no clear history is known. One popular story is of a St. Valentine who, in the 3rd century, went against emperor Claudius II's ruling against Christian couples being married. This particular St. Valentine was supposedly martyred for helping Christian couples come together.
Whatever the true identity of Saint Valentine, his Dominant Impression number is 3, which speaks of optimism and enthusiasm. It reflects an upbeat view of love and romance. 3 is a very inspiring number, meaning that Saint Valentine attracts the attention and even loyalty of most. So for all those cynics out there, Saint Valentine still serves as a reminder of the restorative powers of romance. With a Dominant Impression number of 3, Saint Valentine can draw the interest of both passionate and compassionate people.
Eros
The Greek name for Cupid, son of the goddess of love, is also the basis for so many great words -- erotic, for example! With a Dominant Impression number of 3, Eros, like Saint Valentine, draws the interest and support of most people, even those who pretend to not believe in love or romantic holidays.
In Greek mythology, Eros was something of a love errand-boy for his mother -- a typical 3, he was cheerful, outgoing and active. When he himself fell in love (with Psyche, a mortal woman), he reflected another 3 characteristic: flightiness. He questioned his new wife's devotion and left her for a time. (Luckily, Psyche's Dominant Impression number is 4, proving that she was grounded and hard-working. When she had to perform a variety of nearly impossible tasks to prove her love for Eros, the typical 4 integrity shined through and she finally won him back.) As a 3, the name (and mythical figure) Eros can attract just about anyone. Given that Eros's job was to prick unsuspecting humans with arrows to watch them fall in love, well, it's easy to understand that Eros's influence is impossible to avoid!
Love spells.
They're one of the things that often draws new folks to Wicca and Pagan religions. However, there's a lot of question within the Pagan community about the ethics of casting a love spell on someone else. After all, if you're performing magic on someone without their knowledge, aren't you messing with their free will?
Most Wiccans will tell you that the best way to approach love magic is to avoid focusing on a specific individual as a target. Instead, use your energy and skills to focus on yourself -- to draw love your way, or to help you present yourself as a person worthy of love. You could use your magical abilities to feel more confident and attractive, much like a magical makeover. In other words, fix yourself, not someone else.
Bear in mind that many Pagan traditions have no restrictions on the use of magic to change someone else. If you're part of such a tradition, the use of love magic may well be within the boundaries of your ethical guidelines. In some traditions of folk magic, love magic is perfectly acceptable. It's something that's done as a matter of course, and is no more unethical than wearing a sexy perfume or a cute push-up bra. Magic is viewed as a tool, and can be used in tandem with the mundane to bring you what you want -- after all, if you didn’t want to change things, you wouldn't be doing magic in the first place, right?
Before casting any sort of working that affects another person, though, be sure to think about consequences. How will your actions affect not only you, but other people? Will it ultimately cause harm? Will it cause someone to be hurt, either directly or indirectly? These are all things that should be evaluated before performing any working at all, whether it's a love spell or some other type of magic. If your tradition or belief system prohibits you from performing magic on someone without their consent or knowledge, then you'd be better of skipping the love magic, and focusing instead on self-improvement and self-empowerment.
Rather than aiming a love spell at someone and expecting them to become your devoted servant and doormat, consider looking at love spells as a method of (a) getting someone to notice you AND (b) getting the person to, once they've noticed you, find all the things about you that they like. If you maintain this perspective, you should be able to work love magic and still keep within your ethical boundaries.
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